Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Making babies!

We've been learning about genetics in Biology, and we did a lab today.  The goal was to better understand how genes combine, and Dr. Harris passed out thick packets.  No kidding, the first direction was to "Pick a mate with whom you would like to have a baby."  I looked at the person sitting next to me, knowing full well that we were both too lazy to get up and find someone.

The smartest girl in our grade, with the highest grade in our Honors Bio class.

"So... uh... do you want to..."

"Um... sure... how do you spell your last name?"


Just when I was getting excited about having a "free day" in my toughest subject, without any notes, Jean broke the news to me that the baby would look more like her.  Being what some may call "dumb" in Biology, I had no idea why our baby should look more like her.  I asked why.

She started to explain that I was a "festival of recessive genes" (her words, not mine). 
Festival of Recessive Genes…

Hey, I think that just came to town!  The Seattle Recessive Festival!  Oh, no, wait... that was the Renaissance Festival.  What would a Recessive Gene Festival be like? 

Would people dress up in their DNA necklaces or mad scientist costumes? 

Would the concession stand sell slushies from the Citric Acid Cycle machine? Would they be served in beakers?

Would people ride the new thrill ride, The Mass Extinction?  (It'll drive your nervous system CRAZY!)

And what about that new band, the Retroviruses?  I heard they have a new heavy metal single, Electron Transport Chain.
I couldn't find any picture of a Recessive Genes Festival, but here's the Renaissance Festival!  See the lady on the right side of the picture who ruined it by wearing jeans?  Would that make her a RECESSIVE gene?  You know, because she's recessive, and wearing jeans?  Get it?  Genes!  Hahahaha... I make myself laugh... 

That would be so fun!  I am going to start that some day.  Actually, I can't; I know NOTHING about Biology.  Maybe Jean could start it!  Wait, is she still talking?

Yeah, she was still talking.  I came back to Earth just in time to hear her say that I have blond hair and blue eyes.  Jean is has dark hair and dark eyes.  Dark hair and eyes beat light hair and eyes in the world of genetics.

It still didn't seem fair that the baby (which would be half mine!) wouldn't even look like me, but I didn't switch partners, because, honestly, I would rather get a good grade than have some baby resemble me.

When Jean and I were done making our baby (it sounds so awkward!), we had to draw it.  Our baby looked the most realistic out of anyone's, but it was also the scariest. 

Isn't she so cute?!

If you have keen eyes or a spectacular computer monitor, you'll notice the name.


We didn't think she deserved a good name.  But that beats some of the other baby names I heard today, like "Penny Ann Nickles" or "Itler".

Another thing you should notice is that lovely red check mark on the bottom of the page.  I don't know whatever happened to A's or B's, but in Biology, our teacher believes in the system of checks.  You either get one, or you don't.  Pass or fail.

And we passed!

It's been a while since I've gotten a decent grade in Bio, although I am an "excellent student and a joy to have in class" in most of my other subjects.  As we walked out the door, off on another adventure in Math, I thanked Jean for helping me to get a check.  I looked at our drawn picture and called down the hallway, "But I will never ever ever have a baby with you!"  She smiled and said that she wouldn't have a baby with me either.

So I'm glad we got that sorted out.


  1. Grace... you are just too funny. And having fun in Biology is beyond my imagination. I took Biology (or rather, it took me). Anywayz, it was never fun.

    The notion that your teacher would allow two girl partners create a baby makes me wonder about the teacher's credentials. Naming the unfortunate little girl, "Her", also seems a little odd. Shouldn't it be "She"? Isn't "Her" a possessive adjective (or something)?

  2. Mongo Dude,

    As for the two girls having a baby, you should know that the ratio of girls to guys in our Bio class is 3:1. In a class of 16, there are four guys. Plus, it's WORSE to go up to someone and ask to have a baby with them than it is to "love the one you're with".

    Grace Kent

  3. You are funny and I loved reading this story. I want to go to the Recessive Gene Festival!

    By the way, the word "HER" looks creepy.